4. For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why. (8 Marks)
Old version:
New introductory post:
Taking a look into my first introductory post and comparing it to the new revised version, there are a lot of elements that changed. To begin with, according to the aspects of F-pattern and plan language we learned about in class, I took this knowledge and incorporated it into my new revised version, by striving for a shorter yet concise introduction that would save the reader more time when scanning for relevant information, which is one of the digital user’s behaviors we learned about in class. Compared to my first post, the introduction went from using a lot of flowery language, irrelevant information, and unnecessarily complex words in almost 5 sentences to a shorter yet informative one. Additionally, I incorporated a better use of bullet points in my new introductory post, as before it was confusing and only detailed the kinds of products being sold in a single category which was clothing, which would’ve resulted in most readers leaving the page as they wouldn’t be able to find in a timely manner information about other products. In this revised version, the categories and examples of products are listed right away to save the reader’s time and present my content in an easily understandable manner that would make it easier for them to understand it and use it to fulfill their purpose while avoiding losing them with unnecessary flowery language that would only bore the readers which was the case on my first version of this introductory business post. This means that I had to go through the content written once more and rewrite it keeping plan language in mind to avoid confusion and increase a better understanding of the content, as the old version did not correctly implement this.
Following what was discussed in class, I was able to see what needed to be changed in my previous post and improve it for the readers by correcting my complex and flowery language to a more commonly used and easily understandable one for my audience.
As we learned in class, 42% of Canadians have literacy challenges, so by structuring my content in a format that doesn’t use complicated language, I’m making it friendly and accessible for those who may have said literacy challenges which resonates with what we discussed in class, which is that we write for our readers and we should value their time and make it as easy for them to understand without dumbing it down or using broken English. Instead, in this new revised version, the information is being carefully laid out with informative headlines for better scanning instead of the complex and flowery ones being used previously that did not properly describe what the content being listed underneath is about, making sure simplicity is key. The bullet points used are meant to help when scanning content as we discussed multiple examples in class of how readers scan not only the first part of the content but also from up and down and left to right, meaning that if they read up and down, a list will facilitate this process.
Furthermore, as required by the instructions I made use of visuals this time, because as we learned in class, we should never include text without an image, and that is because images get 94% views more than text-based information, as it takes the human brain 13 milliseconds to process an image, and it takes just as fast to decide to scroll past or click on something, we learned that readers don’t have to read to understand what is going on as most of the times the pictures speak for themselves, users usually spend more time on a page if it has visuals. Visuals increase retention by 42% so if you were to read something without an image, you are more likely to forget about it. If you read something that has a picture in it, we not only process it faster but we retain the information so much faster and for 42% longer. Because of this, I incorporated images that align with what my business is about, meaning that I made use of different imagery that shows the different products we offer and the main element of our business: crochet. This way readers would instantly have an idea of what the business is about without having to read a single thing, which further increases their understanding of our business and the retention in their brain.